<i>"It is always difficult to be born. You know the bird did not find it easy to struggle out of the egg."</i>
<i>"Think back and ask yourself, was the way so hard then?"</i>
<i>"Wasn't it beautiful too?"</i>
<i>"Could you have wished a more beautiful or easier path?"</i>
<i>"It was hard," I said as if I were asleep, "it was hard until the dream came."</i>
<i>"Yes, you must find your dream, then the way becomes easy."</i>
<i>"But no dream lasts, each dream releases a new one..."</i>
<i>"...and you should not wish to cling fast to any particular one."</i>
<i>...</i>
<i>"While the dream is your fate, and as long as you remain faithful to it," she confirms in serious tones.</i>
<i>...</i>
<i>"...You 'fate' loves you indeed. One day it will be wholly yours as you dream it will be if you remain constant to it."</i>
Surrounded by the vanguard team—no, by the fallen—Alpha put on the
If life is a journey to find oneself, then hers is a story of searching for where fate begins.
Putrid flesh and greasy fat from the fallen ooze onto her scalp. Streams of blood and vital fluid, thinner in viscosity, slide down her face, spilling through her eye sockets, following the curve of her cheekbones.
It all collects at her chin into one rotten tear.
...
She lifts her hand and roughly wipes her chin, smearing away the blood-flecked, putrid tears.
She then rises. The vagabonds grovel at her feet, clawing gashes across her legs, and she lets them.
My body feels so heavy.
Perhaps realizing she cannot escape the fate of carrying the fallen, the new queen feels the weight crushing down upon her.
Even so, she must act. She must push those who can still be saved toward the light.
She reaches into the Fog, and a thought surfaces in her M.I.N.D.: I can finally read this Fog.
I should ask first. Let the universe show me the answer.
Seething with hatred, she threatens the universe and asks her first question since being crowned.
The [Crown], the Sefirot... what are they?
How do I bring them all back to a world of happiness?
Her voice blankets the Fog. It is a command. The new queen will not allow any disobedience.
The Fog churns in answer. Fully parsed, information becomes something reachable, legible, even pliable—this is the power of the [Crown].
She extends a finger and, like the Chimera, tears a rift through the fog. A vagabond tumbles out, thrashing, bewildered.
She crooks her knuckle. The vagabond claws desperately at her finger, drawing thin lines of blood, but she flicks it back anyway.
Return. You do not have the answers I seek.
I need something more comprehensible. Ideally, a "person" who can offer a proper explanation.
She surveys every soul that has ever lived, searching the pristine white void for a fitting interpreter. At last, she points to one.
A skeleton, to be precise. The Construct's bionic skin is scorched black, her metal limbs torn clean away. A female Construct who died guarding F.O.S.
And at Alpha's command, the remains pull themselves together in the Fog, reforming into human shape, resuming that flamboyant, prideful posture she once had.
Huh? Me?
Darling, I was just dead weight in the vanguard team. What could I possibly know?
Cassandra, restored and radiant again, is fiddling with a lotus flower in her left hand—busy with who-knows-what—while her right hand sweeps dramatically toward her own face.
The perspective snaps close. Alpha has settled beside her, knees drawn up.
Before this rather unreliable grown-up, Alpha finds, strangely, a certain peace.
Because you're someone I'm more familiar with. In at least two worlds... you lent me a hand.
At least two? Oh, I remember now.
A little restless, Cassandra rubs her legs. There was a world where a Punishing-corrupted steel giant ripped them clean off. The memory of that pain still haunts her; she can't help but fidget.
So besides playing your college trustee in one world, we also crossed paths in... some monastery in another, didn't we?
And you can dig up even a passing encounter from that memory of yours? Here I thought I'd kept my little gig as F.O.S.'s trustee nicely under wraps.
Back at the monastery, I spent my days perfecting the art of flower arrangement while the other Constructs got run ragged by that old abbot. They'd train themselves half to death and still keep going. The absolute fools.
And you—you were the worst of them. Swinging that blade around day in, day out. Every time I'd take a stroll up the back mountain, there you'd be, passed out cold on the ground. Gave me a heart attack every single time. Really put a damper on my peaceful retreat, I'll have you know.
Back then, I thought all that hard work meant you'd outrun your fate. But in the end... here I am, helping you out anyway.
Alpha sinks her blade into the floral foam meant for the flower arrangement.
...Can you skip the long-winded speech this time?
Cassandra scratches her head.
Alright, alright. I'll use the monastery as an example, something we both know. To keep it sound... mild.
Cassandra places the lotus, as garish as the woman herself, into the floral foam, right beside Alpha's katana.
The moment the stem settles, countless luminous veins unfurl from the heart of the foam, reaching outward in every direction.
White fog still drifts around them, but within its shroud, the Monastery of Purity has already manifested, a small world unto itself.
Cassandra points to the center of the branching veins beneath them.
Let's start here. Think of where we're sitting as the "roots" of a tree. Now look up and ahead.
Alpha gazes ahead. The luminous veins have traced out a shape: "branches" spreading wide, "fruits" suspended from every limb. Across the surface of each fruit, faint silhouettes flicker.
This is the ultimate form of civilizational evolution, or at least, the ultimate form among all existing civilizations.
Branches and fruit... Paths and Sefirot... Still doesn't track.
Good grief, you really are clueless, aren't you? How did it end up being you, of all people? Are you seriously just some ordinary kid?
...
Forget it. Just walk forward and see for yourself. It'll make a lot more sense than sitting here staring at the roots.
Cassandra nudges Alpha to her feet. Alpha steadies herself, then ventures a single step forward.
My blade—
You won't need it to cut your way through this journey of happiness. We'll keep it safe for you, for now.
Don't be afraid. We're all here.
Ting.
Alpha's foot comes to rest upon one of the veins. Light travels up the length of her spine, and the world before her shifts in answer.
We'll show you this system through things that make you feel happy. It's the simplest way, and the one you're most likely to understand.
Keep walking. Go to the end... and back to the beginning. Then you'll understand.
This is...
Before her, a ruined stairwell. By the look of it, this research facility has lain abandoned for a long while.
From somewhere on the floors nearby, Alpha catches a low hissing. It might be human, or the guttural muttering of something else entirely.
...Chaos Contamination.
Why this world? And why after everyone had already set out?
Because you need to ask yourself what you wanted back then, at the very beginning.
Alpha frowns. She raises a hand and presses down on the door handle that leads out of the stairwell.
Don't open it...
A sound drifts through from behind the door, faint as a kitten's mew. When she pushes, the door pushes back, just barely.
It's gonna be okay. I'm not scared. I'm brave... Nothing can scare the brave little hero Alpha.
Behind the door is a child, drawing what meager "happiness" she can from delusion and self-encouragement.
...
Alpha lets her hand fall from the handle.
She looks around the stairwell again, descends two floors, and at the base of a low wall, discovers traces of the little hero being driven back step by step, struggling to survive—dark red pen marks:
She reads as she climbs back up, step by step.
One more floor up.
Leora's spelled wrong.
Her hand moves on its own, reaching out to trace the misspelled word. The strokes peel away at her touch, as if obeying her fingers.
She holds this mistaken name in her hand, gazes at it for a long moment, then presses it into her chest.
...
She climbs on, gathering up every word—each one small and sad and full of regret—as she goes.
The "monsters" infected by Chaos Contamination had spread upward from the building's lowest depths. The little hero had retreated floor by floor, until only the top remained.
By the time she collects the last one, she is back at the door.
A thin, exhausted sigh of the little hero slips through from inside.
The monsters found me after all, didn't they?
No.
Alpha gives the door a few soft knocks, as tender as her mother's hand every morning, rousing her from sleep.
Who's there?
I'm... an unimportant person. I just want to ask you something. What do you want?
You can see what I want. You already took them all away from me.
The voice is that of a child, yet it speaks with startling clarity.
I want Mom and Dad back. I want my little sister. I want Leora and everyone else. I want Froggie...
They're where I belong. Without them, I don't have a home anymore.
The words land against Alpha's ears like a knocking.
Aren't you the same as me?
Lucia's happiness is in protecting where she belongs. You forgot that?
Or have you lost that desire?
...
...I've been fighting fate so long. I think I really have lost all of that.
Then there's still a chance.
A click sounds from behind the sealed emergency door. It opens of its own accord, just a crack.
A timid voice slips through. The black-haired girl is speaking, asking the "unimportant person":
Can you help me fight off those monsters?
I need someone to clear the way so I can set out.
I'm Hero Alpha. I've got Froggie. I've got the blade a grown-up gave me. I'm going to... complete the mission.
How? You're just a little kid.
I have to... find the [Crown] Sefirah and pass it to the next world.
The child clutches her blade, murmuring.
...Finish what the grown-ups couldn't. Find the people I love.
Go to another world, be born as Mom's child again.
Eat breakfast and dinner with Mom and Dad every day. Learn everything I want.
I'll tell them I want a Froggie plush, and that I want a little sister.
And then...
As the crack in the door widens, her gaze hardens into resolve, and her voice gathers strength until it rings with conviction.
I'll learn everything. Explore endless possibilities. And finally... become a warrior like Leora and the others.
I'll love everyone who loves me. And I'll be brave and give what I have.
With those final words, she lifts her blade.
This is a story I started. I'm the starting point.
Alpha meets those glistening eyes and holds them. A long silence passes before she offers a quiet, knowing smile.
So this is the happiness
Yes.
Lucia nods firmly.
Alpha nods firmly.
All right.
I'll clear out the Chaos contaminants for you and remove whatever stands in your way.
Alpha bends down and opens the door for her "origin."
But this world is falling apart as we speak. You need to run fast, Lucia.
True to her word, Alpha cleanses the F.O.S. research facility of every Chaos contaminant that has gathered within.
Then she watches as the original Lucia crawls out through the door, gathers the [Crown] into her arms, crosses through the Fog, and readies herself to leap from the Bridge Across Dreams.
Just before the jump, Lucia turns to look back at her.
Go on, brave "Alpha".
But Lucia gathers all her gear into one arm, freeing the other. She then reaches out, stretching her hand toward Alpha.
?
The Fog rolls in, coiling through Lucia's hair, eating away its color until it bleaches white.
She is becoming the Alpha from Leora's story now—the little hero who lights up the universe. The bold, fearless self she had only ever imagined.
Come! I don't want to leave you behind, "unimportant person." I want you to come with me!
I have no reason to accept your invitation. I've probably wandered beyond the worlds...
Because you look so lonely. So lost.
Come with me. Feel what happiness actually is. You can't figure out what you're supposed to do until you've lived it yourself.
She seizes Alpha by the wrist and, with all her strength, offers her a smile.
Your true self has always been with you.
At last she becomes one with herself, and from there plunges into the cycle of every world.
First, she returns to her mother's womb. She is born.
She sees her small, plump hands, the wind chimes tinkling above her cradle, and the Froggie plush nestled beside her pillow, and she hears her parents' laughter drifting through the room.
Slowly, she feels herself beginning to grasp what Cassandra meant by the happiness one dreams of.
Her feet carry her onward without thought, away from the tree's roots, one step, then another. From [Kingdom] to [Foundation], onward through [Mercy], through [Beauty]...
She forgets she is still walking the tree of fate. Her attention narrows to the present moment—see how much her mother's tender smile matters now.
Such happiness, to have a sibling, to have a family.
Ah... te... si... si...
Si... sis.
A little sister for Lucia? That sounds wonderful.
Such happiness, to get into the academy of her dreams.
...
At the launch site of Dawn-III, Lucia is swept into the noisy, restless current of youth.
Adelyde. Cadet designation 004. As your peer, it is my responsibility to uphold the reputation and good order of our college.
004? Wow. Fourth place and you've already appointed yourself hall monitor?
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I was rushing and wasn't looking where I was going. Are you... are you okay...?
My name is Lucia.
Such happiness, to honor and protect the ideals of those she holds dear.
On a peaceful afternoon, just as the F.O.S. graduation ceremony ends, she receives a sudden call from Luna.
Uh... Rock? Band?
With her little sister, sometimes things happen, the kind of moments that leave her caught between a sigh and a laugh.
Yeah. We were gonna tag the alleyways with the band's name before the concert. Killer publicity, right?
...And then Mom said the police want a family member to come sign for you right now.
Mom's at it again...! We're not in Dad's precinct though, so he doesn't know yet, right?
...I'm close by. I'll head over. But first, who's in this little crew of yours? Did they round up everyone?
Yeah. Me, Roland, Lamia. Plus two others who tagged along last minute, but I'm betting they bail after today.
So, Sis, our concert needs a new bassist. Like, urgently.
...
You want me in?
Yeah.
You've got three months before you ship out to the frontlines. You're not seriously gonna sit around base the whole time, are you?
With that "friend" of yours?
Luna drags out the word on purpose.
Alright, alright, Luna. I'll do it. But you absolutely cannot tell Dad. Not a word.
And also...
At the thought of that person, a smile rises from deep within Lucia.
I haven't had the chance to tell you yet. [player name] has decided to join command. We'll keep fighting side by side from now on.
Such happiness, to fight for the preservation of every happiness this world holds.
Lucia becomes a warrior.
With her gun, she shatters the kneecaps of terrorists; with both hands, she cradles the flowers a child has offered her.
Every now and then, she steals back to base and, within the narrow confines of a soldier's living space, conjures the grandest surprise she can muster.
She celebrates several more birthdays among those she loves.
More and more companions gather around her. The bonds between them, fine as silk threads, crisscross her life and tether her gently to this world, spinning a wide web of happiness.
A river of joyful days and nights races past, until it settles into one full, mellow afternoon.
I feel like I have everything I could ever want.
She lies upon the bed, her eyes gently shut, and speaks to the one beside her.
I'm so happy I could cry.
But I...
The one beside her pauses upon the sudden turn in her words.
...I've looked down at that web so many times. All those veins...
There's always one small space that seems empty.
A strand of silver thread, torn apart. Something lost in the fog.
The person at her side presses her hand gently, still full of tenderness.
I think so.
I've already seen it all. [Complete happiness], start to finish. From a "higher" position.
I've found where my fate began, and I've remembered the reason I chose to set out in the first place.
That's why I believe that somewhere, in a world that truly exists, there should be a Lucia like that... Even if her life had setbacks and suffering and pain, she could still reach the end and say without regret—
Throughout my life, I've had complete happiness.
My dear [player name], will you do this with me?
Even if it means this "higher" version of me has to bear all the suffering? Even if you have to watch me stay trapped in the Fog forever?
Will you join me in giving this real happiness to the one and only Lucia out there?
Will you help me make it happen... and leave behind a Lucia who is completely happy?
The one beside her answers, firm and unwavering in every word.
Death draws her back into the void, and she goes with reluctance.
Alpha opens her eyes. She finds herself standing atop the fruit of the [Crown]. Cassandra is gone. The tiny realm is gone. All that remains is the fog, and...
...a trail of fresh hoofprints.
Alpha follows, one step at a time, until she finds the little lamb waiting beneath the tree.
Soft, spotless, and fragile, the lamb gazes at her.
She knows what it is. [player name]. Chimera, the scapegoat. Every soul that was lost.
Alpha and the lamb wait together beneath the tree, faithful to their promise, watching for the black-haired Lucia to be born in one of the worlds.
At last, a curled figure takes shape among the branches. She bears no wounds, no scars, the most complete version of herself.
...There she is.
The one void I need to fill, the only Lucia across all universes who still hasn't found happiness.
The Omega Core in Lucia's chest still lies dim. The power she unleashed in the Fog has drained the last of her life away.
Alpha gently smooths the hair back from Lucia's brow, revealing a forehead clean and unmarred.
And the [Crown] can fix that.
Alpha draws close to Lucia, until the tips of their noses touch and their foreheads press gently together.
Mom used to do this. I picked it up from her.
Alpha begins to channel the [Crown's] power, and a soft radiance ignites within her left eye.
So this power was always ours.
What if Lucia never lost Luna? What if she never went with Nikola?
She'd grow up healthy and strong, full of hope. Become a fine soldier. Find someone to love.
Maybe she'd make it to a command position.
Never turned into a Construct. Never joined the original Gray Raven. Never betrayed by Ravenge. Never learned to hate.
Never had her M.I.N.D. fractured. Never used as a test subject.
...
Alpha releases a long, slow breath.
...And there'd be no Lucia of Gray Raven.
The universe follows the law of conservation. One thing dies, another is born. Same principle. If I choose a different path, Lucia of Gray Raven will not exist.
But no matter what... I want at least one version of
Even if there's only one world left. Even if everything else stops existing.
Even if I lose the family from those "dreams." Even if I lose the one I could have spent my life with. Even if I become unable to protect the people I love. Unable to fight for that happiness... Left adrift. Questioning. Struggling without end.
Alpha thinks back to that lost self of hers,
sinking in a crimson abyss,
locked away in the prison of fate.
Even so... I still want to do it.
You've come so far, climbed so high... searched through those similar "dreams" over and over... Isn't this what you've been seeking all along?
And you risked everything to give me the [Crown] for this very reason.
For the first time, Alpha nuzzles close, forehead brushing against forehead, as though reliving the warm and happy "past" the [Crown] had shown her—those paths she is slowly, quietly choosing to let go.
What if I take all the negativity in this universe, malice, misery, suffering... and converge all onto myself?
Then you'd be wrapped in nothing but happiness, right?
Alpha murmurs.
Then that's what I'll do.
Let me walk the cursed path. I will see it through.
Tiny motes of light travel along the "tree's" branching veins, rising from Lucia's still limbs to gather at her heart as her eyes remain shut.
With every fragment restored, the branch that belongs to Alpha—the path she has chosen to forsake—withers a little more.
Yet the one who gives does so gladly, as though the sacrifice itself were sweet.
Because she knows a tragedy is at last being undone.
We'll go back soon, back to the Fog to face the Chimera again. You won't have to detonate your Omega Core to save everyone this time.
Don't forget your own words. "We're the same. You'd do the same thing in my place."
Alpha's gaze now sweeps across past, present, and future alike, reaching even into other world lines. It has granted her the greatest of all privileges: the right to choose.
...
Lucia's lashes tremble, a faint sign of protest against such an imperious choice.
Don't worry. Don't be sad.
We may be drifting apart now, but I believe the world is round, and so is fate.
One day, beyond all the paths that pulled us apart, we will find our way back together.
